Wednesday, October 21, 2009

natural order

I had a pang at the grocery store today at the sight of so many mothers with their children. Not because I want my children to be at home forever, necessarily; more as a recognition of one part of my life having passed, and another part beginning, as both of my children are now in school all day.

I think there is something about the finality of my Grandmother's passing that has given me a nudge to jump back into my own life. The waiting and watching was hard. I've been listing all of the projects that have been on my mind for as long as I can remember, and deciding what to take on now, and what can wait. It has also helped that it's been a foggy week...feels right to be inside getting my house in order. Summer sheets have been exchanged for flannel, screens have come off the windows, extra blankets are on the beds. Items to be donated are slowly making their way out the door.

20 comments:

dottycookie said...

I'm feeling the very same pangs. And it's taking me longer than I thought it would to find my new way in this very quiet daytime house!

Sammi said...

My winter duvet has been on for weeks ;o)

kks said...

ah, the ebb and flow of life....know how you feel..
xo

Debra said...

When my son {many years ago} went off to school I felt disconnected-what now? That's when I started doing some volunteer work for Hospice and laying the ground work for what I really wanted for the next phase of my life. For me it was illustrating and taking the Hospice course so I could be more involved with the families. Enjoy the quiet hours.

Purple Flowers said...

It's great that you acknowledged that 'now' is time for you and your projects. It certainly doesn't take away from being a Mom, but it allows another side of you to stay out longer and shine.

There's a certain feeling in changing your home from summer to Fall. I think it's a cozy feeling.

Joyce said...

I look forward to seeing/reading your projects.

I can't compare your moment of time, but know what my heart was feeling this summer to watch the youngest niece go off to college. When yesterday I was right there as she made her entrance into the world. Wondering where did the time go. Sending you hugs my friend. xoxo

Deborah said...

It's funny how when those transitions take place your heart is ready to move onto something new and different. My children are getting older ( teens ) and I am a single mom. I now have more time to go do some of the things that I've been putting off to raise them and be their taxi driver! All comes in good timing. Can't wait to hear about all your wonderful projects!

Becky said...

I know that pang. Even though my littlest is three. It's not that I want another baby--I want these babies back again.

Anna said...

beautiful photos and words! i had such a nice time with you yesterday.

nicola@which name? said...

yes yes yes, i am with you in spirit this week. and it is a wonder how life can continue so normally, so quickly (with pangs, pains, and sorrow, of course), so soon after the death of a loved one.
nicola
http://whichname.blogspot.com

Megan Gordon said...

Lovely photos--I hear what you're saying about feeling like kind of nestling in after such a great loss and taking stock. Good time to make soup and watch movies!

Barbara said...

Your bare-branched bird-laden tree is spectacular!

Well I have to be painfully honest. I had three under 3 at one time (I was a stay at home mom and my life centered totally around the kids and their activities)and when that last one went to school, I was one happy camper. I had lots of outside interests and led a busy life.
When the last one went to college, everyone told me I would be a mess. I wasn't. I still was busy, busy.
Then I had a bad 3 year period around 2000- my mother died, my best friend died the next year and then my father died the year after that. It was a bad time, but I came out of it stronger, more independent than ever and I still lead a busy life.
There is life after kids....much as you always love them.

malo said...

I had a similar feeling last week walking home through our park/play ground after following my kids to school. When I saw the mothers and fathers in the park with their babies and toddlers it really felt like a pang.

heidi said...

I hear you... feeling some similar feelings. I thought of you (and me) when I saw this book at the dds office:
"101 Things To Do With Your Kids Before They Leave Home."

Coffee with Cathy said...

I love that feeling of getting ready for winter. Thanks for reminding me of such a gentle pleasure.

Ina in Alaska said...

Hello Lecia, hope you are feeling more organized and peaceful. xoxo

Paige said...

I've been feeling that same way, as next year both of my kids will be in school full-time. Sometimes I fear that I'll hover at the edge of a mid-life crisis come Fall 2010; other times I can't wait to just go for a long, brisk walk by myself followed-up by thinking and doing without interruption. And then I go back to thinking that sounds kinda lonely, so maybe I'll just pick up more hours at my currently part-time job, but look at me, I'm already a mess...!

Guusje said...

Good luck

trinsch said...

it makes me happy to hear you're getting able to enjoy daily life and routines after your loss. somehow this post made me happy and longing at the same time. i feel like a seasonal change too :)

KPiep said...

I keep asking the girls why they insist on growing up when I want them to stay small forever. Gillian just laughs and says, "I'm supposed to grow up, Mom. That's the way God made me!"

I'm wondering where I'm going to be in a couple of years when Tanith goes off to school, too...