After school today, out came the sun - just like that. Kind of like a miracle.
It seems like most periods of my life have been characterized by some kind of underlying angst, however minor. You know, in addition to the overall tenor of happiness that has almost always been there for me. Starting around middle school the stress of tests and academic performance, the social scene, boys.. Later, school and career choices and advancement and interactions with colleagues, in addition to the excitement and emotional roller coaster of single life. The major upset of a breast cancer diagnosis. Then there was graduate school and wedding planning, married life and home ownership and childbirth. Learning how to parent and, really at the heart of it, how to live. How to be a grown woman raising her children. I realized today that for perhaps the first time in memory, I'm just about as worry-free as my children are. For the moment, I'm not worried about any particular emotional or behavioral issue of my children's, or my health or relationships, or anything at all. That is not to say that there isn't anything else I hope to achieve, or do, or experience. But life is swimming along and for now it's as good as I can imagine it could ever be. And what a gift and a blessing that is. As I write this the wind is howling ferociously outside and you just never know what might happen when the wind changes.