Halloween

We're home - happy, a bit tired, glad to see the kids, freezing back in the northwest. All weekend I felt disoriented at the signs of Halloween in California; I couldn't seem to remember it was the end of October in such a warm climate.

Halloween is magic for Abbott and Cal. I don't really think it's so much about the candy - they still haven't eaten all of the candy in their Easter baskets. I think it has more to do with the costumes, the mystery, the element of suspense.

You may recognize Cal's costume - this is the third year in a row he's worn it. Every year we buy him a new one and then he changes his mind at the last minute and goes for his old favorite. Next year I don't think I'll be able to stuff him into it; hoping he'll be up for wearing something else.

I hope you've had a nice weekend. More tomorrow, including pictures from our trip. xoxo

in the sun

Hello from Santa Monica! Alexi and I flew to LA yesterday. This is our first time away for more than one night, alone together, since Abbott was born eight years ago. The New York Times recently ran a feature about spending a weekend here; we're finding the suggestions helpful. Take a look if you come to visit.

We're staying at the Fairmont Miramar Hotel. It's a beautiful property, across the street from the ocean and within walking distance of everything in town. The last photo was taken from our room's balcony.

Our drink pictured above included hand pressed blueberries and organic lemon thyme. We're loving the unique flavor combinations and the food sensibilities here. The hotel's lounge is surrounded by a koi pond, full of fish and also turtles. It's quite relaxing and fun watching them.

It's so good to be away in the warm weather and have the time together. We're sitting poolside as I type this and I've been totally engrossed in Freedom by Jonathan Franzen. Thank you all for the great book suggestions earlier this week.

Thank you for your warm words and anniversary wishes yesterday.

Have a wonderful weekend! xoxo Lecia

ten years

October 28, 2000, ten years ago today, Alexi and I said our vows.

It feels like a lifetime ago.

I’ve learned at least as much about myself from those years of marriage as I’ve learned about Alexi.

The hard work and the joy of parenting, of forging a life together, the focus on the common good and the functioning as a whole, the fun and the warmth and the making it all come together - it adds up to a wealth of love and connection.

I can’t wait to see what the next ten years bring.

Wednesday

I believe we'd have a shot at world peace if we all had Cal's ability to decompress. After school, he goes up to the top floor of our house, where my bedroom is, locks himself in my room, and plays with legos until around dinnertime. He emerges for dinner regrouped and ready to be social.

Tuesday

The wind has been scaring the wits out of me the past couple of days. The wind and our family, we have history.

After school today, Abbott noticed our online calendar open on the computer. It seemed to be a major revelation for him - people keep daily calendars with events and tasks! We have a monthly and a weekly calendar on our family board and we discuss our daily schedule every morning, but I suppose he'd never thought about the adult world of scheduling and planning.

Alexi and I are going away for a few days at the end of this week to celebrate our tenth anniversary (!!). I'm looking for a couple of good vacation reads - I'd love to hear your suggestions.

I've had a couple of home runs in the kitchen the past couple of days - a soup that Alexi described as the best he'd ever eaten, and a batch of cheddar apple scones.

In other news, Cal wants a puppy for Christmas. We haven't decided what to do about that one, but if you have any suggestions about small to medium sized dogs that are great with kids, please let me know!

Happy Tuesday to you.

Love,
Lecia

crisp, warm and happy

The following is a rough draft of Abbott's (age 8) for a school assignment:

"At fall, leaves crackle and crunch under my feet. At Halloween, which is in fall, we tell spooky stories. I munch on warm, nice, hot, just-from-the-oven pie. I play with my Halloween cape. I put up scary, hairy decorations. My mom puts up a warm, crackling fire. I look at interesting Lego Christmas catalogs. I play piano in my warm comfy house. Leaves swirl in the wind. Fall is here. I drive to school in the cold, misty air. Fall is here. Tall trees creak in the wake of wind. I like fall. Fall is crisp, warm and happy."

I hope you had a weekend that was crisp, warm and happy. xoxo

a little giddy

When our boys were younger, Alexi and I hired a sitter every Saturday night so we could go out on a ‘date’. The advent of children gave more ceremony to our time together than I ever felt when we were actually dating. I would look forward to it during the week, make a reservation somewhere. When the time came I'd dress up, and we'd hold hands as we walked from our car to our destination, a little giddy about being alone together. And eating food that someone else prepared. I tended to order a cocktail – something I never made at home, and something that elevated the evening to luxury status, given that at home meals were often rushed and included tired, sometimes cranky infants/toddlers. The drink felt symbolic of a completely unhurried occasion. Now, time and circumstances have changed such that we still go out, but not as often. We plan or are spontaneous with our time together at home, whether it be watching a movie after the kids are asleep Saturday night, or chatting while they're playing at a neighbor's, or having lunch out on a school day when Alexi's off. And unlike when the boys were really little we now live by the water, so just being at home itself often feels a little like being on vacation, if we stop and appreciate what’s in front of us.

Last weekend I made ginger sidecars from a recipe I saw in the October issue of Martha Stewart Living. I made them in a moment that epitomized the feeling of a perfect weekend: standing barefoot on a sun-drenched floor, hanging out in the kitchen shooting the breeze with Alexi, on no particular schedule. They went with the good life we have.

Ginger Sidecar

Slightly adapted from October 2010 Martha Stewart Living

Place sugar on a plate. Run an orange slice around the rim of a glass; rotate the rim in the sugar. In a cocktail shaker, mash two ¼ inch thick slices of peeled fresh ginger with a muddler or a wooden spoon. Add a 1-inch piece of orange zest, 2 ounces brandy, 1 ounce cointreau, 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice, 2 teaspoons maple syrup, and ice. Shake well, and strain into the prepared glass. Makes 1.

the real story

I would tell you abut the kale chips I made today (great), but tonight I have more on my mind. I'm still thinking about a conversation I had during hockey practice with another mother who is scheduled to have surgery in a few days. I asked how she was doing, and I heard about meals already in the freezer, her doctor’s opinion about when she might be able to drive again, her mother’s upcoming two week visit to help out. As I listened I thought to myself, the real story here is not about the preparations and about her family being ‘set’ in her absence. The real story is about wanting to enjoy time with her mother and concern about her having a good visit; about post-surgical complications and being able to manage. This person unfortunately suffers from a chronic disease, and I know there are so many things I’m not hearing about.

Twice in the past I've had breast cancer; in 1998 and in 2005. My second experience was when Abbott was three and Cal was one. When people asked how I was doing I talked about the particulars of chemotherapy, and surgical preparations and complications, but not so much about what lurked beneath the surface. The anger at not being able to be fully present for that part of my children's toddlerhood, not repeatable; the issues of body image and concerns about mortality; the overwhelming knowledge that life as I had known it would never be the same again. There are stretches - whole months - I really can't remember from that period of time.

I know I'll be thinking a lot about this friend in the weeks to come.

Wednesday

Yesterday I accompanied Abbott's third grade class to a food bank (Northwest Harvest); one of a series of trips as a community service project. We bagged rolls of toilet paper and diapers in order to make them available to give away. Abbott liked this trip even more than the last one, 'because this time it didn't make me hungry' (last time the work involved food). I have lots I'd like to tell you about the day, but I'm going to have to leave it at saying it was an incredibly positive, memorable trip. I've injured my right middle finger - sliced it on a tin can - and typing is quite difficult for the time being.

What have you been up to this week? Hope you're having a good one. xoxo

one fall morning

(random photos from the weekend)

This morning I went running in the first light of day, which I don't often do. I wasn't fully awake, and my limbs felt sluggish and disconnected from the rest of me. The cold made it uncomfortable to take really deep breaths. The skies were completely clear, allowing the sidewalks to be bathed in pale pink light and the dew on the grass appeared to be on the verge of frosting. Occasional bird chatter caught my ear. I remembered Martha’s calendar mentioning putting out winter bird feeders – that must be what I’m hearing, I thought, winter birds. I should find out what they are. I passed a woman who apologized for her dog refusing to get out of the middle of the sidewalk: “she’s trying to stage a chance encounter”.

Nearly every day, the same route; never two experiences the same.

highs and lows

A friend on the east coast recently told me she would love to see fall in the Pacific Northwest; I told her I've always wanted to see New England at this famous time of year.

The past couple of days I've had some real highs and lows. On the one hand, as someone on twitter said yesterday I'm guessing my emotions surrounding the rescue of the Chilean miners are similar to those felt by people at the time of the first walk on the moon. On the other hand, today is the anniversary of my paternal grandmother's death and I'm really missing her.

I hope you've had a good week. Best wishes for a relaxing weekend.

Thursday

I don't ever want to forget the look of these fingers covered in marker at the end of every school day.

Every week Abbott (third grade/age 8) has to put his spelling words into sentences. This week, you guessed it, the theme/root of the words is 'phobia'. His writing made me laugh out loud.

Happy Thursday to you! xo